For Long Long LOOOONNGGG time

Sitting at must expensive drink in the malaysia (Starbucks) in the middle of the jungle full of conceit and carbon mono i finally have remember i had a blog with i used to dump my nonsense feeling which i stop.....since when ah? nevermind i dun even remember what are my password to log in^^. Anyway i think i made up my mind to start a new me which free from fantasy and imagination. As a starter, i will change my style in blog writing which found out could lame^^. This holiday wake me up for all fantasy and i realize that foot must be on the ground and walk straight^^ (Thank for wake up slap(real one) in face, it hurts but at least it nudge me). For all the character in my fantasy such as si ying (which is the main women actress) sorry for anything during my hot pursuit(not really hot also) and make you uncomfortable in all the ways, now i understand feeling cant be force( if you change you mind i will be very happy^^), i hope we will not be awkward when we meet^^ . Now i would like send massage to all the hot chicks(not a must for hot^^) out there, close all your windows and doors cause lone wolf on the loose.

My mission for now, i try to loose my weight in many ways but i fail due to my mom cook(damn nice). So, i decided to make it hard rather then make it hard, cause i found out i m a easy fat person. now my hand and chess making progress and next will the my 10+ year old fat on my belly.

That all for now, next sem would me hell on earth which i expected. hope my frens will help me out of this as i will do the same to damn.

by the way, i m Ronald Thong^^

New experince and yet a worst experience

I believe everyone had watch resident evil before, the experience of being chase by virus not knowing when, where and how you get infected. The situation almost the same but less extreme as in the movie. Here am i, refuge at my roommate home town surrounded by green green paddy field, The look was familiar ass my home town but yet different. I will be holding refuge here for a week as my University declare not serious evacuation. As everyone heading back to close one receiving the warmness of their family love, i only can share their hospitality.

I`m Back^^

Here i m again sitting in the middle of concrete jungle drinking refreshing large cub of green tea which i think not really refreshing and taste normal^^you know what i mean. It`s been long a long time that i reflect what i did in this recent pass. So let me start will my life in this two mouth of wake shit eat and spent money routine, man speaking of spending money i used a big part of my fortune in this very holiday unrealized and shocking. The total spent total up at 4 digit figures and stop my heart beat by 0.75 sec^^. Next, here come my double kill story, to people out there dun try this at home. The day start with early badminton game, with confident and moral support from frens, i tried the jump smash with back jump i dunno how i did it but i success. With the big smile on my face and great result in front if my eyes i land on our very earth with my body almost 45 degree if you cant figure out, you can try standing with body not straight up^^. When i realize that my ass was going to kiss the floor, i try one of the jackie chan movie spinning the body in the mid air to land at my front body with my hand as suspention. But i fail and end up injury on my back cause by dynamic twisting stun^^ but the pain was not that serious. At the end of the badminton game i recieve a sms stating there are basket ball match at the afternoon, and i agreed to join forgeted that i already hurt my back. When my basket ball match reach the climax where score are tailling each other, tragic happen. When my opponent try a three point shot and miss, i ran to the spot where the ball falls and wait my oppotunity to go for the ball. But at that very moment, my opponent spotted me and try to prevent me from getting the ball by stading behind me with his nee on my ass. The ball fall at the spot i calculated andi jump like a fat gorilla and success, i get the ball. At that moment my body was free falling, and i cant control my landing spot, at that very moment also my opponent behind me step at my landing spot with his nee facing my back. Yup i land my back directly on his nee throwing me off balance and landed on my feet as it was good sign but i landed at the wrong orientation and twist my ankle. Well my feet and back keep sending sign pain signal to my brain i heard ppl shouting "Double KILL" man, if can still stand and walk i already land pounches on their face^^. I spent one night hospitalize and on the wheel chair for 1 and half weeks. As a sinompsis for the long winded story, i hurt my back and my ankle and sit on the wheel chair for the 1 and half week. As for my emotion and feeling lately, i give it a great and deep thinking of it, i slam the door to my pass and keep it locked forever and i also decided that i will not chasing after feeling and hopes that never fruit and breed flower, cause it just make my life like washing machine hoping the cloth wash inside will be clean and unharm with all hard work did to it but end up clean but with holes on it(damn this is the worst comparision). What my ex gf say was correct, if the person is mean to be your special one, it will workout with only a finger lift of affort and you can feel it weather one relation can workout or not at the very beginning. So, When i understand this, i feel vey stupid and naive, hoping something that 1 and a billion chance to get it. So i decided to wake up and live on reality, sorry and thank for those who incourge me in my quest to achieve my hope.

What HAppen To The World??(Reverse)

Early in the morning when i was clicking my mouse in front of my laptop, i was shock with a phone call. The First sound get into my ears was a sound from a crying girl which i not yet know her identity( i didn't see my caller id in my phone^^) and the first work came out from her is "(my name) i m suffering and i dun want to break up with my bf". I was half asleep cause it was very early in the morning and was wake by that statement. I was thinking that girl is trying to commit suicide, i try my best to calm her down i try get to know what happen to her. After half hour of baby sitting and also listening to her mumble about her bf i get to understand what happen(i very sleepy that time). She say her bf ignoring her care and dun want to share any problems with her. Haizzz, with tear in her eyes and also noise of her nose(try to cry if dun understand^^), She tell her story in detail i also feel pity about her situation. In my last post i try to describe girls betrayal and misunderstand of guys, I her situation the my description is the same but only the change of sex. I myself as a guy i know, guys ego are very strong, they dun want to lost face in front of ppl exspecially thier gf. They dun share their problem and sad with their love one to this kind of MAN they think this show weakness. I but guy i m sorry but please trow away that ego, you just hurting others feeling and you are not very man(ying) exspeacial for those who love you. Sharing your problem doesn't show you are weak, we as human cant live happily in this world alone. Let others help you and inprove the relationship in the progress. As for gf caring, some guys threat is caring as something annoying for example, Gf dun want his bf to gamble much, the bf thought this gf try to control him and restrict him but what happen the the bf, he lose all his pocket money and he ask money from his gf. This what happen to my friend that call me this morning. Haizzz, His bf also one of my friend look at them i also feel pity. The girl stop crying after given advise and opinion but her problem i just begin. Without know what happen to her, i say bb and hang up my phone. I hope both of them find a solution to thier problem^^.

What HAppen To The World??

Yup i m back since my last post which is ages ago^^. When the world was shock by a new flu bacteria that cause by an animal so cute that you all eat it everyday, An new and un-understandable plunge has been discovered. As i sitting around with my long lost buddies( few month only lah^^) i was shock they suffer this plunge which is they lost in love. Even an couple then start since 5 years ago break up with reasons that are un-understandable. All of my buddies suffer shock break up which means suddent break up proposes giving by girls. The reason given are feeling fade, I got others guys that treat me better,long range relationship very hard, i cant find any confident on you and even reason that not make sense like your new hair cut sucks. For ages ppl was saying guys are birds without legs ( i not mean your brother ok^^), they are layer, they will not responsibility in what the they do, but i thing i can proundly say is when a guy meet his love one, they are very loyal to them. They will do everything just to see a smile at her face and nothing more. Although this not apply to everyone but i confident that this apply to most of them. But why such plunge still exist, and why girls cant comprehend us guys????. Are we that hard to treat or understand??. Guys heart also made of flash and blood but not stone, Even sentance like i love you, i miss you or i m sorry from girls enough to melt guys heart. But why they abandone their love one that they agreed to love each others??. Why guy can withstand a relationship that they meet only half a years once.Why guys jumping in joy when they only being kiss on the face by their love one on valentine( you try dun your gf out and buy them present on valetine^^). Why guys can bath without soup,shampoo and even without water when their love one at hospital or sick??.Why guys learn to make up, cut hair, cook, and even house work???. The answer for all of the question is simple, They only want their love one happy. Looks like now a days, girls take it for granted, dun ever care in what guys feel(Sorry for those who really love her bf) and just make a blank promise so that guy can be their pet and horse. Acually i still lot of ideas and question in mind but that all for now^^. As my piece of advice that not worth a peny, apreciatte your love one if both make promise to love each other and for those who still blur and not sure about your feel dun even think to start a relationship cause you will find dissapointment in the future^^.

Clueless and Remain Clueless

All this well i have been keeping anything to myself, my sad, my pain, my disappointment and anger, i hiding it not because i do not want to share it and let people help for those who really good to me but i hide it because i dun want to influence the feeling of people around me and spoiled their mood. Even i in berserk condition i will go away far from from my friends to calm myself down and forget it alone cause i dun want them to feel awful and i will not angry of my friends more then half day. All this well i treat my friends better then everything, i dun have motive to used them, take advantage of them, didn't hope anything return if i help them and forever never even think of offense them. Yes of cause people will say i just blow water and just talk cock but believe it or not, that is holding all this well. But yet i still some how offense and hurt their feeling. i admit my speaking style and my action are offensive but i really mean it, everyone got weakness, i can forgive why other dun? first clueless and death end case. Second clueless case is i accidentally and even not knowing how i offended and even not knowing i really offended my friends and they keep it for themselves, keep distant from me and even treat me like invisible. At least let me know what did i offended or how i offended so that i can make it up for them.
Third and last clueless case is a question, 'for two people to become a friend, do we need any specification or advantage to take from each other??'.

Again, i wrote this not to offended anyone or specific to anyone, just this is my own feeling and things that running around my mind all this well. And i would like to say sorry in the deepest of my heart to anyone who i offended in anyway and please do correct me^^.

Story FromThe Past

A guy from a little town with not pleasing attitude and behavior go through his life with he think the best. His life is surrounded by dark cloud forcing him to turn dark too until he meet someone, a girl, a normal very short school girl who always smile to everyone, help everyone she think can help, and most importantly, she didn`t care about guy past and behavior. Yes, the guy flow in love with her, and he start to think a guy like himself can really suit her or even get alone with her. So, he promise himself to dump his all life and start a new one. At begining, he find it difficult cause his friends demoralising him due to his change of attitude but he didnt give up. He mission meet hope when he meet a friend which can bring him to his new life. They become good friend and because his best friend he meet banch of new friend and through his new friend he found him new life. With full confident, he confront the girl and he found out that the girl was watching him all this well and very please with his preformance^^. From that day onward, they go through thier life happily and forget thier time together are almost up. 4 years past and his other half need to go oversea to study and maybe work there. So, they make a promise, a promise that they will stay together for the rest of thier life after he finish his and her study. 1 years had past, the guy start to feel lonely, and a serious need of company from his closes one. Without realising it, he getting alone with girls around him and also start their relationship a couple. But everytime he think of his real partner, he end up his relationship with them, hurting them mentally and physically. 2 years had past and he still waiting for the promise to become reality. But things arent goes they way he image it, he start to hearing romurs from his friends that his gf with another guy. He reject the rumors or maybe ignoring the fact that the romurs are true cause he himself lose control before. The day was a raining day, when get out from the airport he go straight to his gf house to give a suprise visit. when he open the door of his gf house, he found out that she is very suprise but the funny things is he himself are more suprise. The rumors were true, here they are sitting togerther watching movie with the guy hand over his gf shoulder and his gf leding on him. His mind blank, body cant move and his subconscious tell him to get out there. He left the door key on the table and turn back slaming the door before him. That moment, the girl run out from him and ask for forgiveness from him, and the he reply him ' If you really love him dun turn back and look back, just let our relationship bury on the past and i hope you happy with him'. Tears flowing, out of control and unstoppable, yet he keep telling himself to give it up. Time pass by, know his ex-gf living happily is a relief, but yet the wound created very too deep and cant recover. Everyday he keep strugling to forget her even try to find a new partner to continiou his new life but he feel sorry to start a new one, because he still miss her.

Tsunami Feeling

When you riding on a wave with your surf board, you will feel very nice and high when you at the highest point of that wave. But, when then wave reach the coast of the beach it will come down crashing on to the beach. That is what i feeling now, hope and disappointed. Seriously i m losing confident on this love issue already after i had been through a massive lose of my life. After that break up, i taught i had overcome it and move on with my life but somehow it keep hunting me when ever i come to this issue. I dun want to make it as excuse but, i really hope that someone can give me back my confident. Lately i went to a trip where that place is always covered by cloud, it was a nice trip, where i enjoy the weather and condition there, very relaxing. Got nice and also unpleasing feeling but overall NICE. Other then relaxing, there is one hidden quest that i bring along. At the beginning of the quest everything when very smooth and i strongly believe that was my day, but one she step out from bus we are like a magnet only i m opposite poll-_-. If the reason given is paiseh(shy), then you think my face thick like safe vault?-_- dun understand and can't find the answer why. Maybe i will call it for a moment and dun want to walk on this endless road.

It`s been awhile

Yup, It`s been awhile that i sit down and flash back what i have done and what are the feeling that walking along all this while. All this while was busy with confronting people and education as well, for example, lecture that promise my re quiz with open heart, turn the anger edge toward me and stab in right in front of my face T.T, 'What happen with this world mama, People live like they get no mama'. as for the education i m dawning in the sea of assignments, project and tests. So far so good for the test be work behind it was unbelievable T.T. As for my feeling update, i like chasing something that i not really i will get it, and the feeling of tired strike me again and again and keep pulling me down. But all sudden she seem care about me, i dunno this an other illusion of friends behavior or a sign given her that she really got feeling toward me, so the struggle continue to find that answer haizzz. 28 march approach closer, and i hope i bring back nice memory instant of memory that ghost me all this while and i dun care come from weather from friends or someone else i only that the best memory^^.

Happy Moo Moo Year

Yup! the mouse had pass, now here come the ox. All the people roaming around with new year, new start, but for me is just another continue episode of my life with same old look just fat a bit already, stress and same target which i cant get there because of limited guts-_-. The whole week was an extremely tired visiting Marathon. Every minutes and sec counts until my sleep and rest also being taken T.T. But after the marathon i did`t come back with empty hand, i bring alone my friends and family future together, this is lucky year for me. My family population had increase, and i have this uncle title carry with me now, that mean i had grown old...haizzz. As for my friends, after one gathering i only acknowledge that my friends numbers cannot fit with 4 vans-_-, next need to rent a commercial bus. But journeys with friends was very fun and bring back the nostalgic moment when we still at high school^^. Now, when i alone and writing this blog i miss one that today is her special day, her birthday, what i can do now is just wish her happy birthday nothing else-_-.

Happiness Around The Corner

Not much happen lately, just normal brain and ears washing. Everyone have been busy for there things, me myself also being burden by tons of assignments and and project stuff not that why my blog were silence awhile. Cny is around the corner, that mean a long journey and very very tired journey await me T.T. My emotion lately are not easy, the cause for it maybe i felt myself.....how to put it in words......erm.....put it this way, you want to try to help someone to lighthen their burden and stress but idealess to do it. Maybe the prefect words for it is useless. All i can do is to give moral support -_-. Maybe i didnt fit to to be her speacial one. The cny event in my university had ended. The event was a joker, we were promise with a fantastic banquet well we enjoy the show the prepared for us but the fantastic banquet became our dailly food we suffer for each sem only batter a bit -_-, i m not the guy who really care about the money for the food but this is out of the question.

One of Those Days

Yesterday was a joker, where i have to wake up early in the morning, pass all my big and small motion, dress up and i went you to class in full spirit. But in the middle of my journey to my lecture, my classmate travel the opposite the direction of mine. One word for this situation 'Disappointed'. Next, i found my body were convert to islam and i was taught to breath with stomach instant of lungs so you wont lose o2 amount-_-. But the joker for the day did not happen in the day light, When i was ride in my iron horse, i stuck my front wheel in the my ride mate on his back wheel when he rush turn in front of me, not his fraught just my horse not in condition-_-. i only suffered minor injuring but my horse head was twisted but is was ok.

Nonsence Day

Early in my yesterday morning i was thaught to talk with the wall which i found extremely......i cant find the write word for it-_-. On top of that i was directed to prepare a song for me to sing in front of dozen pairs of eyes where the feeling will be worst then you past big motion without toilet paper and water. At the end of the mind torture, physical torture begin, for the whole day i need to travel from hostel to lecture and to hostel about 3 times because those brainless idiot dunno how to do their do job to make a nice schedule. By the end of the day i found out that someone i care was not well and i cant do anything about it. The only that i done was just advise and moral support. i feel myself like an idiot.

A Head Start

Early in a sunny blue sky i thought i will go through the day with some of my normal boring life until someone that i mean so much, give me a head start or maybe a sign or maybe i was just over reacting and i jump into conclusion^^. But in this situation, i sacrifice a friend of mine in order to hold the chance given, i feel sorry for him until this moment T.T hope he will understand me and help me out on this and i wont forget i promised^^. Since my blog have been exposed and i hope the exposing will not reach a particular person yet because i m not ready^^.

The Begining

Here i am sitting in front of my electronic partner, clearing my thoughts and exploring the past that i gone through all this while. I am not the writing type but trend pull me in and supported by my overflow of unused time(boring^^). As a starter for my blog, let me describe the my physical state as while as my in feel state. Physically i just recovered from my one month sick package which included flu, all type of cough which scared me to death when my doctor suspect i got `tibi` but i am not the lucky one^^ , fever and the must torturing is that i injured my back which haven`t fully recover until today T.T. As for my inner feeling, i am not denying that i got feel for someone, but some how this feeling is full of cloud and i cant make up my mind. If i dun make up my mind soon i think the consequences are lifetime regret^^. As for my surrounding, i have to adept two place in one year which i had no problem so far except for traveling time from one place to another T.T. Friends wise i confront minor problem adapting to my friends came from different background and lifestyle but this wont drag me down because i only holding on one thing, friend is friend. Ok enough of my long winded first post, stick with me if want to know my lastest up date^^.