Clueless and Remain Clueless

All this well i have been keeping anything to myself, my sad, my pain, my disappointment and anger, i hiding it not because i do not want to share it and let people help for those who really good to me but i hide it because i dun want to influence the feeling of people around me and spoiled their mood. Even i in berserk condition i will go away far from from my friends to calm myself down and forget it alone cause i dun want them to feel awful and i will not angry of my friends more then half day. All this well i treat my friends better then everything, i dun have motive to used them, take advantage of them, didn't hope anything return if i help them and forever never even think of offense them. Yes of cause people will say i just blow water and just talk cock but believe it or not, that is holding all this well. But yet i still some how offense and hurt their feeling. i admit my speaking style and my action are offensive but i really mean it, everyone got weakness, i can forgive why other dun? first clueless and death end case. Second clueless case is i accidentally and even not knowing how i offended and even not knowing i really offended my friends and they keep it for themselves, keep distant from me and even treat me like invisible. At least let me know what did i offended or how i offended so that i can make it up for them.
Third and last clueless case is a question, 'for two people to become a friend, do we need any specification or advantage to take from each other??'.

Again, i wrote this not to offended anyone or specific to anyone, just this is my own feeling and things that running around my mind all this well. And i would like to say sorry in the deepest of my heart to anyone who i offended in anyway and please do correct me^^.